Let me tell you a story: I have had this weird recurring illness over the last 30 months that our finest medical minds are still unable to diagnose. It has a myriad of symptoms that come and go at will but the one absolute is an extremely high temperature at night that causes weird sub-hallucinatory waking/sleeping dreams.
I am currently in the throes of this illness and, 48 hours ago, dreamt all night about Bryan Adams – and about ‘Summer of 69’ in particular. I awoke about about a dozen times and each time realised I had dreamt another piece to an imaginary ‘guilty pleasure’ review for this blog. At about 4am I decided to get up and, using my phone and the Google voice typing facility, rambled the whole review into my phone and onto a word document. I then when back to bed and slept soundly, having got the Adams out of me.
Yesterday afternoon I stumbled across the word document. I honestly have no idea where most of the ideas came from, but I love it for its utter madness. I thought I would edit it and post it here but I read it out word for bonkers word to Helen last night and she said that I should post it exactly how it was recorded.
So here goes (lack of punctuation, google misunderstanding certain words included):
Now this is a weird one I’m not really sure about the guilty pleasure aspects as in the title as I don’t really believe in guilty Pleasures I just believe in music and f*** what you think and f*** being cool I’ve never been cool and now we care about being cool anyway I’m not a Bryan Adams fan never have been never will be but I kind of like this album well I like the singles anyway it kind of reminds me of summer and it reminds me of Good Times and I like the Summer of 69 just like everybody else does
When we’re in Thailand recently there are always bar bands doing covers to cheer up the white he’s in the audience who want a little bit of Thai culture but with a little bit of music as well and every single band seems to do a version of Summer of 69 and also every single ban does a version of f****** Zombie by The Cranberries and I f****** hate that song more than most songs ever release so I’ll say no more about that one
Anyway back to this album and the singles cos this album is like a warm comfy blanket which kind of envelops you makes you feel ok you can’t really hate it you know it’s comfy and it’s lovely it’s like heroin really help pop heroin for the soul but anyway back to the f****** music Summer of 69 is one of those songs that everyone knows and everyone kind of you know sort of each likes I like it because it just reminds me of you know summer and also because my lovely wife Helen always smiles and nods ahead if you’re on holiday and she hears it and she’s had a few glasses of wine it makes her smile and a thinner makes her smile makes me smile as well
I’ve kind of made this whole album a guilty pleasure of the week when in fact I’ve never actually heard the rest of songs I know this singles and I know kids wanna rock was that a single I can’t remember but I know nothing about the other tracks whatsoever you know. You need to hear anymore because those that kind of sums it all up maybe one of the other album tracks is fantastic but you know maybe there a bit you know s*** so I’ll say no more about that
This particular copy the omitted lovely lovely condition so if you want to copy this is probably the best one to get although you know it’s probably been reissued for record store day at some point in light blue and green vinyl a limited edition of 2000 and cost in like 30 quid and probably sold out on record store day and there are copies in people’s homes sitting there Gathering dust and they thought they make money on eBay for after record store day but sadly everyone realised it’s a f****** Bryan Adams album and then get it for a couple of quid in a record shop anyway.
This is an original copy in lovely condition so cut bit more than a couple of quid but you know you’ll like it if you like that sort of thing. I’ve never actually bought a Bryan Adams record and fact that’s a lie I have bought of Bryan Adams record I bought the f****** horrible single everything I do I do for you for my first wife while before we were married because you know I was in love and all that well unfortunately that marriage didn’t turn out fantastic and I wonder if she still got the record I imagine she probably smashed it a long long time ago you know with good reason it’s a terrible record and a record no one ever needs to hear.
I don’t really know anything else about Bryan Adams part from he seems a nice guy Canadian pock Marked face and you no kind of a sort of cut Price Bruce Springsteen or more like cut Price Rick Springfield really I suppose if you know what I mean but anyway f*** it I don’t know I don’t know basically are the reason I’m writing this is because I dreamt this article tonight I was ill at the moment and I’m having really weird nights where I keep waking up every 20 minutes and everytime I woke up I started thinking of Summer of 69 for no reason whatsoever and everytime I woke up I wrote a bit more of this review in my head so what I’m writing now is sort of like what I came up with in a sort of hallucinogenic temperature control controlled poorly poorly boy kind kind of sleeplessness sleep deprived weirdness you know so if this makes little sense blame it on the illness or blame It on the Boogie
That’s all I’ve got to say about this
I don’t really have much to say and appreciate the haven’t really said much anyway although there’s a lot of words been used but I’ve got my first since I got my first and anyway I didn’t get my first six string down at the five and dime I got my first guitar which was Pink down in the shop in Reading and I was s*** at playing it I’ve still got it in my attic and a look at it every now and again and think about the rock star I could have been if I could have been arsed to learn to play it properly
Story of my life really